.: Turning point :.

sdh brtahun.. masih mncari turning point utk diri sdri.. trnyata tdk mudah utk lari dari kesilapan masa lalu.. umpama menagih dadah.. semua perkara mnjadi tdk keruan tanpanya.. bimbang akn memakan diri sdri sedikit masa lagi.. na'uzubillah.. semua usaha utk lari x berjaya.. ada shj ruang dan luang utk mengingatinya.. sdh berkali cuba menepis, namun kesan bertahun lamanya sudah berbekas dan trsemat dlm ingatan.. xmgkin dilupai.. pernah ku berdoa supaya lupa ingatan agar aku kmbali mnjadi normal walaupun tnpa ingtan masa lalu.. namun aku rela, agar aku dpt mnjauhkn diri darinya.. mgkin Tuhan masih mnguji dan Dia Maha Tahu bhw aku dpt menempuhi segala dugaan masa lalu.. alangkah indahnya mnjadi seperti sahabat2 yg normal fikirannya dan tingkah lakunya.. namun berbeza dgn diriku yg mmpunyai dua 'personaliti' ini.. amat rumit utk mengendalikannya.. umpama hitam dan putih..yg pasti aku dpt merasainya.. moga kekuatan terus diberikan utkku terus melawannya hingga hujung nyawa, tanpa nafas..jika itu turning pointnya.. aku rela..

                                                           "Ya Allah, permudahkanlah..."

.: WikiLeaks :.

I'm now reading this book titled as " Inside WikiLeaks" author by Daniel Domscheit-Berg (Former Spokesman for WikiLeaks). this book narrate the time that he spend together with Julian Assange. i'm not completed reading this book yet. waiting for a suitable time to read this book since i'm busy with others work and training this two months. anyway my friend promised me that i'll get something important in this book, how important i still dont know it yet.. Picture below is Julian Assange(right) and Daniel Domscheit-Berg (left)  -

psst- WikiLeaks is the 'world's most dangerous' website that put fear into the hearts of the politicians, business leaders, and military commanders of this world. they probably had nightmares about us (WikiLeaks). A lot of them probably wished that we never been born.

.: Lonely :.

Lonely I'm so lonely

I have nobody

To call my own

I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely

I have nobody

To call my own

I'm so lonely

Yo this one here goes out to all my players out there

Ya know got to have one good girl whose always been there

Like ya know took all the bullshit

Then one day she can't take it no more and decides to leave

I woke up in the middle of the night

And I noticed my girl wasn't by my side

Coulda sworn I was dreamin', for her I was feenin'

So I hadda take a little ride

Back tracking ova these few years

Tryna figure out what I do to make it go bad

Cause ever since my girl left me

My whole left life came crashin'

I'm so lonely (so lonely)

I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)

I have nobody (I have nobody)

To call my own (to call my own) girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)

I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)

I have nobody (I have nobody)

To call my own (to call my own) girl

Can't believe I had a girl like you

And I just let you walk right out of my life

After all I put you through

You still stuck around and stayed by my side

What really hurt me is I broke your heart

Baby you were a good girl and I had no right

I really want to make things right

Cause without you in my life girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)

I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)

I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)

To call my own (to call my own) girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)

I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)

I have nobody (I have nobody)

To call my own (to call my own) girl

Been all about the world ain't never met a girl

Hat can take the things that you been through

Never thought the day would come

Where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing you

Cause ain't nowhere in the globe I'd rather be

Ain't no one on the globe I'd rather see

Than the girl of my dreams that made me be so happy

But now so lonely

So lonely (so lonely)

I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)

I have nobody (I have nobody)

To call my own (to call my own)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)

I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)

I have nobody (I have nobody)

To call my own (to call my own) girl

Never thought that I'd be alone

I didn't think you'd be gone this long

I just want you to call my phone

So stop playing girl and come on home (come on home)

Baby girl I didn't mean to shout

I want me and you to work it out

I never wished I'd ever hurt my baby

And it's drivin' me crazy cause

I'm so lonely (so lonely)

I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)

I have nobody (I have nobody)

To call my own (to call my own)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)

I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)

I have nobody (I have nobody)

To call my own (to call my own) girll

Lonely, so lonely

So lonely, (so lonely)

Mr. Lonely, so lonely

So lonely, so lonely, (so lonely), Mr. Lonely

.: the problem is :.

i never worried about you because i know who you are..
the problem is with my own self.. the problem is me...me.. not you..
i'm afraid i cant stand it alone.. hoping that you understand it..

I feel my time is slipping away,
(Every minute gone by seems like a day),
I’ll never get back the things I lost along the way,
What the hell is wrong with me?
This isn’t who I’m suppose to be
I feel all alone everyday,
And just so far away,
I know something’s got to change,
Inside of me,
What is it that I’m running from?
My head is like a loading gun,
Every thought is trapped inside this web I’ve spun
What the hell is wrong with me?
This isn’t who I’m suppose to be,
I feel all alone everyday,
And just so faraway,
I know something’s got to change,
Inside of me.
(LP-IOM)

.: The answer :.

"A Thousand Years"

 Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

.: murung :.

sejak akhir2 ini aku kerap bersendirian.. nk kata gelisah x jugak.. tp lebih kepada murung lah.. fikiran selalu berada di luar realiti.. menerawang jauh ntah ke mana... huh..

aku sdri x pasti kenapa aku jadi begini... keadaan aku ni turut disedari adik agkat aku.. time drive kete, selalu terlepas cabang dan berhenti di u-turn yg salah padahal aku mahir benar dgn selok belok jln di kwsn tu.. bila drive hanya mata aku shj yg memastikan aku x accident.. hatiku sudah ntah kemana..  mcm berada di tahap depression yg kritikal.. huh..

aku sudah x boleh focus bila buat kerja even time brsukan pun jadi x de mood..

kerana apakah..? (nk tahu ap yg aq rasa? hayati setiap lagu blog aku nih.. aku kdg2 menangis tnpa sebab.. so many things inside my heart that i cant explain it even i've tried..)

bilakah semua ini akan berakhir?